You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
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