Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
