Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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