My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
