I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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