I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
