Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
