your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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