I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
