My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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