i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
