i would punch a child for taco bell
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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