She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
