Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
