But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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