I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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