I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
40s are totally the cure
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just had sex on a roof
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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