I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
