Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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