Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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