best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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