i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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