I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
