Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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