How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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