So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
