It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
