Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
