I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
