Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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