My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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