Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
