I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
