what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
