Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
