Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I AM VODKA MAN
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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