I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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