Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
