i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
