I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
