so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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