it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
