i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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