Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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