new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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