Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
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Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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