He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
