Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Are my feet made of real feet?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
