Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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