didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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