I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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