Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
