My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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