nut hugger
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
