the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
