i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize