I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
