can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
