Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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