why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize