Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
