I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
