I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
