We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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