A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
